( ! ) 2012 BritAwards R3-KAP

( ! ) 2012 BritAwards R3-KAP

DEAFWISH 2012 BritAwards Recap

Now that we’ve got the 2012 Grammy review out of the way; let’z skip the pond and talk shi~ about some UK artists. The BritAwards streamed through r MuchMusic stream, givin’ the DEAFWISH critics something other than steak mince to talk about.

 

Coldplay Equals Shat - BritAwards - DEAFWISH

We tried to tolerate the uninspired, subdued neon garbage that is Coldplay. Then we remembered the PVR future and promptly skipped past it. Their next album should come bundled with some “oops I crapped my pants“.

Florence and the Machine are like the dramitic Rankin family. - DEAFWISH

Don’t know who Rankin Family  is?

I wish I grew up in your family car.

That aside, it seems as though Florence and the Machine are better when they can flex their studio muscle. While the performance was energetic, they kinda came off as a hipster Evanescense.

Adele seems like she will turn into a monster - DEAFWISH

When they announced her name the look on her face said “my people told me I was a sure bet”. We promptly ran some numbers in the lab but found her score on the DEAFWISH Diva-dar to still be within the acceptable levels witnessed pre-Grammy’s.

DEAFWISH DivaDar - Adele - Britawards 2012

 

That said, it seemed as though the fame was starting to twist at her spirit.

Ed Sheeran - BritAwards 2012

Uncle Dan nailed this one on the head when we saw Ed Sheeran take the stage. This was when we all started to realize we don’t understand British popular culture like we once thought.

Kid looks like he could use some sun and a little life experience for the lyrics; but at least he was playin’ it.
Bottom Line: Old men WTF’d while british tweens probably swooned.

One Direction all have edgy wholesome Hair - DEAFWISH

Every generation needs their Otown or Backstreet Boys. One Direction seem to be filling that bland, soupy void.

Lana Del Ray gets a career Boost - DEAFWISH

Yeah, this chick has a kinda smokey voice and bj lips.

Rykarda Parasol still owns her a$$. Maybe one day she’ll get on a label that can buy her a Mastercard award.

Rhianna reps the smock and panties look - Britawards - DEAFWISH

Rhianna in tha smock and panties look - Britawards 2012 - DEAFWISH

Yep.

That’s fashion 4 ya.

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The night closed off with Adele winning another award, standing around flipping her hair, then flipping the bird when she couldn’t talk over the precious sponsor time.

Video(h!):

The DEAFWISH department of Science then reported a spike in diva like activity…

Adele - Diva Radar - BritAwards 2012 - DEAFWISH

This was the most dramatic spike in diva like activity the industry has seen in dayze. Our team has proceeded to delve into the numbers; look out for a “where’s my toilet seat!!!!” prediction on Adele for early July.

Then Blur played for some reason.

By far, the best part of the 2012 BritAwards was the MardiGras cake and the str8 whiskey.

Agree or disagree? Hit the comments or scream at me on twitter.

.fini

yo cvo

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