( ! ) 2012 BritAwards R3-KAP

Now that we’ve got the 2012 Grammy review out of the way; let’z skip the pond and talk shi~ about some UK artists. The BritAwards streamed through r MuchMusic stream, givin’ the DEAFWISH critics something other than steak mince to talk about.

 

We tried to tolerate the uninspired, subdued neon garbage that is Coldplay. Then we remembered the PVR future and promptly skipped past it. Their next album should come bundled with some “oops I crapped my pants“.

Don’t know who Rankin Family  is?

I wish I grew up in your family car.

That aside, it seems as though Florence and the Machine are better when they can flex their studio muscle. While the performance was energetic, they kinda came off as a hipster Evanescense.

When they announced her name the look on her face said “my people told me I was a sure bet”. We promptly ran some numbers in the lab but found her score on the DEAFWISH Diva-dar to still be within the acceptable levels witnessed pre-Grammy’s.

 

That said, it seemed as though the fame was starting to twist at her spirit.

Uncle Dan nailed this one on the head when we saw Ed Sheeran take the stage. This was when we all started to realize we don’t understand British popular culture like we once thought.

Kid looks like he could use some sun and a little life experience for the lyrics; but at least he was playin’ it.
Bottom Line: Old men WTF’d while british tweens probably swooned.

Every generation needs their Otown or Backstreet Boys. One Direction seem to be filling that bland, soupy void.

Yeah, this chick has a kinda smokey voice and bj lips.

Rykarda Parasol still owns her a$$. Maybe one day she’ll get on a label that can buy her a Mastercard award.

Yep.

That’s fashion 4 ya.

.
..
…

The night closed off with Adele winning another award, standing around flipping her hair, then flipping the bird when she couldn’t talk over the precious sponsor time.

Video(h!):

The DEAFWISH department of Science then reported a spike in diva like activity…

This was the most dramatic spike in diva like activity the industry has seen in dayze. Our team has proceeded to delve into the numbers; look out for a “where’s my toilet seat!!!!” prediction on Adele for early July.

Then Blur played for some reason.

By far, the best part of the 2012 BritAwards was the MardiGras cake and the str8 whiskey.

Agree or disagree? Hit the comments or scream at me on twitter.

.fini

-yo cvo

2012 Grammy Re-cap

Well, it was that time of the year again. The “biggest night in music” [or as others call it "the RIAA industry circle-j3rk"] that is the Grammy Awards streamed through my friends PVR while I sipped the finest of $13 red wine & shared my thoughts with the Twitterverse.

We let the show pre-tape so we could skip the glut of detergent & beer commercials. If you weren’t so lucky as to see the comments stream by 35 minutes behind schedule We’ve put together a recap.

Enjoy!

 

 

 

1. he actually sang
2. he busted out the James Brown splits
3. the band they gave him was top notch

 

 

I know there will be some man-children mad about the Jack Black rip, but I just can’t handle that f_kr. Given, he’s probably sweating all over a stack of thousand dollar bills while we mock his “body of work“.

 

 

 

 

Not sure whut we talking about?

While Brian Wilson was looking a bit uneasy, Mike Love was casting a surf spell on the cameras and the crowd…

Uncle Jessie did not make an appearance, but Lady Gaga was struck by his mysterious voodoo ways.

Bottom Line on this one: If you were too cool to watch the Grammy’s; you missed the Beach Boys Reunion.

You are an idiot.

 

 

 

It’s impossibly hard to deny the Beatles contribution to pop music. But does Paul McCartney really need to be busting his new shi~ out on the Grammy awards?

Being a legend though, our team of music experts suspect Paul just shows up and tells the organizers he’s playing. Since his publishing rights have paved their driveways in platinum, they have no choice but to comply.

Here’s a side by side of Paul & Betty white.

Hence, he gets to perform. Not to say that he isn’t a living legend, we just shouldn’t have to sit through a half hearted collab at every awards show.

Did he get a standing ovation?

Probably.

Everyone else did.

 

At this point the show was dragging on a bit. More Paul McCartney?

Seriously?

We watched some PVR of the walking dead – it seemed fitting.

We’re just gonna skirt the whole Adele thing…

Well, here’s a rundown for you outsider music fanatics who don’t know the score.

1. An old designer called her fat
2. She’s got a crazee powerful voice
3. She won a bunch of Grammy’s

Hopefully she can come through with a non-break-up record and keep doing well. Don’t get did like Marc Cohn.

 

Seriously? They remembered the lives of record executives & greasy management but they forgot Etta James?

They could have cut a Chris Brown dance segment short to make room.

What did you think of the 2012 Grammy show? Talk sum shi~ in the comments.