Jonathan Davis from Korn – A Fatter, More-Depressed Version of Adam Duritz from Counting Crows

Jonathan Davis from Korn – A Fatter, More-Depressed Version of Adam Duritz from Counting Crows

@dawgmanistan goes on the attack of Jonathan Davis

Ahh…Jonathan Davis from Korn. Nobody says “I’m a middle-aged, balding, former nu-metal demi-god who is now hopelessly lost in a sea of semen-soaked undies and sad TMZ interviews” like you, do they? For a fleeting moment, you actually looked like a fatter, more-depressed version of Adam Duritz, without the ’90s sensibility to go along with it.

I pose a morbidly serious question for you here, Johnny Boy – WHAT THE FUCK are you talking about in this interview? Are “controversial” answers like this your last, aching grasp at remaining relevant and doing 16 years olds up the butt with bottles of Orbitz? It took me 25 tries over two consecutive weeks to decipher the banal drivel that spewed from your custard-crusted lips over the course of ONE FLIPPING minute. That’s how utterly fucking batshit insane you are, Johnny Tot.

To sum up:

Fuckwad Johhny Boy comes off a plane and is asked by TMZ reporters the meaning Korn’s music video, Spike in my Veins. He proceeds to wax eloquent about how:

  • The American Government (Specifically Obama) is trying to establish a dictatorship
  • They are trying to do this passing laws without the public knowing
  • They do this by creating fads like “Twerking”…Basically a sex-charged heat shield to deflect unwanted attention from the misdoings of Congress

Really? IT CAN’T BE??!! If so, I know about a bajillion men out there who jizzed in their Dockers last night at the club after being ass-molested by an overweight 40 year old trying to keep up with the latest fads who are going to be taking a LONG, LONG look at themselves in the mirror tomorrow morning. Congratulations fellows! America is now a bloodthirsty communist regime thanks to those dedicated efforts at Club Dashiki!

For fucking real.

John. You’ve fallen farther than someone who’s been in a bottomless pit for 20 years, your hairline is receding worse than your fan base and I think it’s time to crawl back to the shit-farm from whence you came and jump off the barn face-first onto a rusty rake.


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