FUCKING MY WAY TO THE TOP OF A BIKE ACCESSORY The “Dr. Joel Kaplan Smoke Stroke Reversible Masturbator” vs. Lana Del Ray’s “Ultraviolence”
So, you're probably trying to relax at the office - feet up, coffee in hand - and you just clicked on this link in your Facebook feed. Perhaps you've just gotten home from a sweaty session of hot yoga...
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“Hell Hath No Fury than a Chicken Embryo Scorned” – The TENGA “Wavy” Egg vs. John Legend’s “All of You”
Dithered and tossed around as a concept for the better part of 2014, thanks to Mr. Andy Savant and DEAFWISH I am immensely humbled to present a weekly series of Dawgmanistan reviews. It's a rather si...
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A Sordid, Passionate Evening with Irish Dwarves – @dawgmanistan Reviews the Frozen Soundtrack
I find myself sitting on my sofa on a rainy evening, morosely contemplating what I would have to consider the memorable dates of my life. The last 'hot date' (yes, it was POF) involved: The Gre...
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A Catburglar for a New Generation – @dawgmanistan reviews YG – My Krazy Life
Straight from the land where shwarma trucks reign supreme, this week's review comes courtesy of a humble request from DEAFWISH beatmaster extrodinaire DJ KNIFE to review the debut release “My Krazy ...
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The Sound of 1,000 Dying Gilbert Gottfrieds !! @dawgmanistan Reviews ‘311 – Stereolithic’
A looming stench befouled the air as I opened up yet another email from my editor. “Review 311 next.” “You want me to review Winnipeg Directory Assistance? That's the worst idea since I had two (n...
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A Pan-Asian Logan’s Run (or How I Got My Cod Sperm Back) – @dawgmanistan discusses AKB48
Ahh...Japan. The proud birthplace of used panty machines, home of purported curses from long-dead fast food magnates and the setting for Tom Selleck's 1992 masterpiece Mr. Baseball. In a misguided ...
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Jonathan Davis from Korn – A Fatter, More-Depressed Version of Adam Duritz from Counting Crows
Ahh...Jonathan Davis from Korn. Nobody says “I'm a middle-aged, balding, former nu-metal demi-god who is now hopelessly lost in a sea of semen-soaked undies and sad TMZ interviews” like you, do the...
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The Tits that God Built and the Sand Vagina that Time Forgot – Dark Horse – Katy Perry feat – Juicy J Review
If you noticed a bright light in the sky a few nights ago, I must inform you that it was actually the glimmer of hope in my eyes as this assignment crossed my shake-strewn coffee table. After weeks...
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$HITLIST: Monumental Disgrace – A Honest Review of “Building my Taj Mahal” by Paul Vieira – @dawgmanistan
"22 years. 20,000 people. 1,000 elephants. 40 million rupees, 500kg of gold, and the deep longing of an emperor. This is what it took to build the world famous Taj Mahal, a tribute to a beautiful w...
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Name Dropping the Ball – A Wind City Analysis – #NORTHCOAST
DEAFWISH correspondent White Dawg took 6 minutes to watch the latest media depiction of our beloved #NORTHCOAST home. This is what he had to say about it... Oh, there's a wind alright and it blew ...
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